夜と霧

泥だらけの命

これは事実の報告ではない。体験記だ。ここに語られるのは、何百万人が何百万通りに味わった経験、生身の体験者の立場にたって「内側から見た」強制収容所である。だから、壮大な地獄絵図は描かれない。それはこれまでにも(とうてい信じられないとされながらも)いくたびとなく描かれてきた。そうではなく、わたしはおびただしい小さな苦しみを描写しようと思う。強制収容所の日常はごくふつうの被収容者の魂にどのように映ったかを問おうと思うのだ。

ナチスの手により強制収容所に入り、ほんの一握りの生存者となった心理学者の著者。
著者の書き手の立ち位置が素晴らしい。

体験記、としながらも、性分なのか学者としての距離をとった客観的な書き方が基本。
それでいて、痛みがブスっとささってくる。

収容所で日常になっている、暴力、死、絶望、それに順応する被収容者。
そこで描かれる有様は、むごたらしいの一言。

1日ひとかけらのパンを与えられ、労働に駆り出され、凍傷で手足はひびわれ、昨日寝食を共にしていた仲間が死ぬ。
自分の命が、自分の手ではどうにもならないところで決定されてることを、実感させられる日々。

終わりは見えず、栄養失調の体で何年も労働にだけ勤しむ日々。
そこでの生とは、なんなのか。

わたしたちは生きる意味というような素朴な問題からすでに遠く、なにか創造的なことをしてなんらかの目的を実現させようなどとは一切考えていなかった。わたしたちにとって生きる意味とは、死もまた含む全体としての生きることの意味であって、「生きること」の意味だけに限定されない、苦しむことと死ぬことの意味にも裏づけされた、総体的な生きることの意味だった。この意味を求めて、わたしたちはもがいていた。

僕はこの本を、ぜひ多くの人に読んで欲しい。
それは、この悲惨な事実を知って欲しいから、ではない。

この本が訴えるのは、理不尽な暴力でも、踏みにじられる生でもなく、人として生きる覚悟と、どの状況でも人は人として生を握り続けられる、ということだ。

言葉を絶するような環境の中、ナチス側について同胞であったはずのユダヤ人を蹂躙する被収容者がいる。
えこひいきをしてしまわぬよう、配膳係になった時に誰の顔も見ずに下だけを向いてスープをよそう、良心を捨てない被収容者がいる。
気に食わないという理由だけで、収容者を撲殺するナチス兵がいる。
暴力を振るわず、また他の兵から暴力を受けないよう工夫をしてくれるナチス兵がいる。

つまり人間はひとりひとり、このような状況にあってもなお、収容所に入れられた自分がどのような精神的存在になるかについて、なんらかの決断を下せるのだ。典型的な「被収容者」になるか、あるいは収容所にいてもなお人間として踏みとどまり、おのれの尊厳を守る人間になるかは、自分自身が決めることなのだ。

著者は語る。

人は運命から逃れられない。
一方的に状況を与えられるのみである。

が、しかし、その状況で何を思い、何をなすかは、全て本人の手にかかっているものなのである。

そこに唯一残された、生きることを意味あるものにする可能性は、自分のありようががんじがらめに制限されるなかでどのような覚悟をするかという、まさにその一点にかかっていた。被収容者は、行動的な生からも安逸な生からもとっくに締め出されていた。しかし、行動的に生きることや安逸に生きることだけに意味があるのではない。そうではない。およそ生きることそのものに意味があるとすれば、苦しむことにも意味があるはずだ。苦しむこともまた生きることの一部なら、運命も死ぬことも生きることの一部なのだろう。苦悩と、そして死があってこそ、人間という存在ははじめて完全なものになるのだ。

過酷な状況に置かれた時、精神が死に、人間性を失うのは”しかたのないこと”ではない。
収容所で他人に悪意でしか接しられなくなった者もいる。それは、暴力と飢えと絶望に満ちた世界が真の原因ではない。
それは、本人が人間性を放棄したからに過ぎない。
私たちは、どんな環境でいても、自分を手放さずにいることができる。

という感じのことを著者は語る。
言葉に、計りようのない重みがある。
それは、いくつか引用した箇所を見てもらっても伝わると思う。

溢れるくらいの暴力は、切りがないので割愛。
その悲惨さの横で語られる著者の意志は、痛いくらいに強い。

もうすでに書いたけれど、これは歴史に存在する悲惨さや、人間の業を描いたものではない。
むしろ、ひりひりするくらいの人間性の肯定
僕たちは、どこであろうと、生きていかざるを得ないということ。
苦痛の中、痛みの中、慟哭の中、生きていかざるを得ないということ。
でも、それは絶望ではなく、むしろそれこそが”生きた生”だということ。

ある詩人から引用、と書かれているのだけれど、強烈だった一文。

「あなたが経験したことは、この世のどんな力も奪えない」

僕たちは、どこにいても僕たちでいられる。
その、力強さと覚悟を感じさせられる本です。

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