センチメンタルな旅・冬の旅

「私は日常の単々とすぎさってゆく順序に何かを感じています。」


僕はあまり、文章を付けた写真が好きじゃない。

よく、写真と、前向きなメッセージが一体になった写真集があるけれど、僕自身はちょっと苦手。
もちろん、否定する気は全くないけれど。

なんというか、写真は、できることなら写真だけに語って欲しい、という気持ちがある。
だから、言葉というのは基本的に余剰で、言葉は僕たちがそれぞれが自由に得られるはずのイメージを限定させてしまう感覚を覚える。
写真は、ただ写真としてそこにあって、それを手前かってに味わう。
そういった感覚が、好き。

でも、この本は数少ない例外。
妻を失う過程を、とつとつと悲しみがにじむ文章と写真で語るアラーキー。
こっちのイメージが限定される、どころか、アラーキーの痛み、悲しみを、本人が「これだ」と見せてくる。

なんでこの本は抵抗感なく読めるのだろう、と思ったのだけれど、きっとそれは、言葉と写真が重なっているからだと分かった。

僕が文章を伴った写真が苦手なのは、その言葉が写真の読み取り方を強制的に誘導してるように見えるからだ。
「本当にそうか?」なんてことを僕は思う。

でも、ここに出てくる言葉は、僕たちをどこにも連れていかない。
ここでの言葉とは写真であり、写真は言葉になっている。

地下鉄で帰った、という言葉の横には、地下鉄の写真。
干しといた白シャツが、という言葉の横には、白シャツが映る夜の写真。
「愛しのチロ」を入れてあげた、という言葉の横には、「愛しのチロ」と一緒に棺に入っている妻の写真。

アラーキーの言葉が、想いが、そのまま写真という形で現像されている。
むしろ、逆かも知れない。
アラーキーにとっては「写真を撮る」という衝動が第一であって、その後に彼の言葉や想いが生まれているのかも知れない。

写真と言葉が重なる、ということを偉そうに言ったけれど、これはつまり僕たちが日々ブログなどでやっていることだ。
○○があったよ、という言葉の横に、その写真。

アラーキーも、自分の写真を”私写真”としているしね。

でも、だからこそ、何も言葉のない写真から、アラーキーの無言の悲しみが届く。

今まで全てアラーキーに委ねられていた写真へのイメージが、僕たちに白い爆発となって帰ってくる。

そしてまた、写真が語り始める。

最後の写真。
本の白い背景は、全てこの写真のためにあったんじゃないかと思うくらい、美しい。

アラーキーの悲しみが、写真になり、言葉になり、悲しみになる。
白い環状線が続いて行く。

冒頭の言葉も、必読。

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